Amusing Books on…Home Remedies, Off-Grid Medicine, Wordplay and Commentaries
Cosmic Pizza Movie with Kari Stephens and Yvonne Licardi Yamanna
My ole’ film, streaming on TromaNow! Yes boys, gurls, and Martians, Cosmic Pizza (aka Zarkon Knows All) is finally available to the public. It’s a film of Epic-proportions-not, but if (if) you like wonky, out of the ordinary films. Then you might just like to watch my family friendly movie about a group of friends who get involved with a purty-gurl named “Czarconia.” Czarconia is about as genuine as a zirconium diamond.
Czarconia’s TV show is all the rage, and when the audience starts to actually believe her mantra about “Cozmic Con-Shus-Ness” things get really wonked-out. You could watch the movie on Apple, Roku, FireTV — you name it, and it’s brought to you by the infamous TROMA distribution. YAY! Their dang groovy — and actually very kind folks. #FanTOXIC Here it is on the innerwebb… https://watch.troma.com/videos/cosmic-pizza
Vincent Price loses his grip when watching the movie “Lights, Camera, Aliens.”
I’ve tried to track down many of the actors and crew and I’m sure some of them have married and changed their names, so the best I can do right now is hope that they find me. So, Kari Stephens of Phoenix and Blue Ridge Mountain area (Virginia?) plus Sara (Sarah) Sorensen of Tempe, and Yvonne Licardi of Apache Junction and Yamane Yoga (aka Yvonne Crystal of California,) or other cast n’ crew…My old email while at the Media Pool co-op was mediapool@rocketmail.com — maybe this will pop up if you google or smoogle me.
NOW – Find me on www.Facebook.com/DeanLach – or Tweet me: @Dean_Lachiusa — https://twitter.com/Dean_Lachiusa — I’d love to connect and of course put your credit on IMDB. Okay back to the story behind the movie…”
If you were around Phoenix and went to most any of the Colleges in the Snotsdale or Tempe area then you may have heard about the film project or maybe even participated. I used actors from Phoenix College and ASU too. Phx college is where I found Bobbie Champagne, our costume designer. I also tapped into the resources of the original Russo “Star” theater, the original Women in Film of Scottsdale.
Plus there was a Radio college that sent some interns to do sound, most of them where cool, but one dude got so nervous that he pulled a 3-stooges maneuver…he swung the boom pole around his head, and then knocked the Sony VX-1000 camera right off the assigned “no food or drink, just equipment” table. Uggh . That was just the beginning of a real cluster-frak of a film project.
Right now, only Cosmic Pizza is on the Troma (viewing) platform called TromaNow. But Troma did sign-on my 2nd film version called “Lights, Camera, Aliens.” Look for that too.
Next thing that happened was the pre-Madona’s at my so-called film school all were a no show. So I shot most of the film myself. One night, while at a Glendale, AZ TV studio things all changed. It’s a long story detailed below. In a nutshell: what happened resulted in the shooting of two (2) films. Yep!
The next section is excerpted from my media-kit for my two film projects. There may be some redundancy.
Cosmic Pizza: A group of spaced-out friends pretend to be Aliens from planet Zarconite. They record all their exploits, but when they share their videos they find that some people actually think it’s for real. WATCH NOW! Lights, Camera, Aliens: A television cameraman tells the story of a woman who produces a TV show about Space-Aliens who use a type of mind control called “Cozmic Conshussness.” WATCH NOW!
About the films: Produced and Directed by Dean Lachiusa. Starring Kari Stephens and Yvonne Crystal. With Juliet Rose.
Some of this project was shot on 16mm, a few scenes were shot on Super8, and the rest on DV. Most of the coverage is in the Arizona desert, around Papago Park in Phoenix, The Superstition Mountains (just outside of Phoenix,) and in numerous locations around the metropolitan Phoenix area. Originally, I cast local actors from organizations like the AZ Star theatre, and the Scottsdale branch of “Women in Film.” Among the still photos, you may notice a cast on my hand. The following is the story behind these pictures.
Dean (the original Zarkon) wearing a cast with replacement character, Czarconia
The Accident, aka “I’d cut off my right (err left) hand to make this film…and did:” We were about 10 shooting days into the film. A small crew was assembled to shoot in a Television studio in Glendale, Arizona. The cast was in the blue room, and I was in the control room. All studio doors were shut in order to quiet the set. We had an issue in the blue room and I walked towards the blue room to address it.
However, the glass doors that separated the rooms were clean and crystal clear. The glass did not have protective-stickers on it, and as it turned out…the glass was every day, untempered window-glass. I didn’t see the glass, and I walked right into it — my hand went through first, shattering the glass and cutting me in the face and knees. But most importantly a large piece of very sharp glass fell on my hand. It cut through four (4) top-tendons. All fingers were affected except for my Thumb. Blood was everywhere.
They hauled me away in the back of a pickup truck to the local hospital where a doctor stitched up my hand with all the talent of a drunken-boyscout. The next day I was looking for my wallet, because I had no insurance and I needed to schedule surgery with a hand-surgeon. I found my wallet, hardened inside a ball of clothing that was solidified by dried blood.
Dean Lachiusa of the old Phx film co-op “MediaPool.” After accident at TV studio.
But the show must go on. After two hand-surgeries I decided to finish the project. I proceeded to shoot the rest of the film (despite a large cast on my hand and the burden of a $20,000 medical bill.) What can I say…When you’re bit by the filmmaking bug, you stick to your goals no matter what happens. -Dean Lachiusa Producer & Director “Cosmic Pizza” and “Lights, Camera, Aliens”
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This is a section break!
About me: I’ve been influenced by many famous wordsmiths like Pye DuBois of the Max Webster, and Kim Mitchell bands! Read more…
I also attribute some of my “wordsmithing” to the genius of Brent Butt of the Corner Gas, and Hiccups Television comedies…
Plus I’ve always loved the clever lyrics of Musician Peter Gabriel…
And I’m motivated by the wild and adventuristic words by the Scottish musician, Alex Harvey of The Sensational Alex Harvey Band.
If you’d like to talk to me about the book, I AM LOOKING FOR AN EDITOR and/or PUBLISHER in my Manuscript. The manuscript is targeted towards educational readers and those interested in Medical Alternatives and Holistic / Natural Medicine with a important concentration on Historically-Infamous cures, PLUS a cross-reference section of texts that reflect recipes/medicines found in old texts going back as far as the 1600’s. A second publication (could) be released and it would be targeted to readers interested in Off-Grid solutions, Primal and related Naturalistic approaches to lifestyles/small-home, camping and independent-living, health, and medicine. Please drop me a line at metrofilmfestival@gmail.com or Facebook.
Until then, I hope you’ll share this website with your friends and frenemies (not to say that you have enemies…)
I’ve found that my enemies eventually turned into friends (or at the very least Frenemies) because time does heal all wounds. But who’s wounded…I’m not, or at least it’s not anything a hunk of Chocolate Fudge won’t cure.
*Asterisk*
THIS IS ANOTHER SECTION BREAK, UGGH!
WordPress suggests I say something like this:
The Doohickey Company was founded in 1970ish, and has been providing quality doohickeys to the public ever since. Located in Gotham City, Doohickey (or “Doo” to it’s friends) employs over a Kazillion people and does all kinds of awesome things for the Gotham community, honest.”
Isn’t that clever? Anyway, if you’re me, then you may click the login box to edit stuff on the dashboard. If you’re not me, then see below.
My websites: MoviesPlusTV.com is my biz website and it’s connected to my blog for filmmakers, studios and Media-makers interested in Television, and especially Low Power TV. LPTV station owners are invited to stream their content free-of-charge on my CTV network. See links to my Roku/Fire/RlaxxTV channels on www.MoviesPlusTV.com
Martianpoop.com – the home of UFO and Martian Stuff (it’s all real, would I kid you?)
DeanLachiusa.com (You’re here, ya hear me? Of course you do)
This is Wags, he was a good dog. He was very smart, and he would sneeze in reply to my commands/questions. He also did the typical head-tilt that Shih Tzu’s are known for.
This is a sentence. Okay, duh. You may have guessed that I love the art of wordsmithing – I even have a Degree in WordSmithery from the Acme Word-Smithing University of Nowheresville, Ohio.
Someday there will be more pictures here or a link to yet another of my publications.
Outdoor Barcelona-Dean Chair (c) DL 1992
Here’s one of my passion-projects, it’s a Roku channel that streams films made by fan-owned Star Trek studios.
The movies I stream are made under the strict “fan-film” guidelines and are considered “Noncommercial.” This means that no money can be made from these films, so you won’t see any Adverts, and you may add my channel free. Within the Roku.com site or your Roku-device, simply look for the Roku channel called “Martian Poop.” It’s totally free of ADvertising and monetization of any form, can you dig it?
If you’d like to talk about making a fan film, I’m a big Sci-Fi fan, and I’m very much interested in participating in a Star Trek production, or a Firefly/Serenity production. (I love “The Verse,” a short Firefly homage.)
Actually, if you’re into filmmaking, I can be found at the monthly Royal Oak Film Mixer. [Note that my related “Royal Oak Film Mixer” FB page was taken down in September 2022. But I still welcome discussions online.] Feel free to ask me about filmmaking…I’m a seasoned Second AD and old-school Cinematographer.
Watch Star Trek free and ad-free, including Star Trek Continues, Exeter, and Horizon!
Importantly, if you like the work of George Takei, or Walter Koenig of the original Star Trek series, I stream and blog about their productions made a few years ago with James Cawley and Tim Russ (ST Voyager) in NY. Look for “New Voyages and Phase II” films on my channels and my FB page “Martian Poop.”
And if you like the cast of Star Trek, especially alumni from Star Trek Voyager…you may find them doing “Atomic Network” films, which we also talk about on Facebook.
Toot-a-loo for now. 🙂
PS:
Yvonne Licardi Yamane Crystal in Cosmic Pizza, starring Kari Stephens
